Feel The Fear – Screw It And Do IT
Fear… where do you start? That little voice inside your head telling you that you couldn’t possibly succeed – who are you to even try!
Failure, success, change, looking silly, being rejected, having lipstick on your teeth – the list never ends.
What about fear makes it so destructive? How does it stop even the most capable of individuals from achieving what they want?
Fear is a natural instinct, designed to keep us safe. If we stay within our comfort zone and operate within the known we are more likely to be safe an not upset the proverbial apple cart!
The thing is, very few fears are actually keeping us safe. The fear of heights – yes – you could fall off a cliff and die, but the fear of speaking in public… well significantly less chance of death… unless, of course, you are singing Justin Beiber at a Def Lappard concert.
I like to think of fear as False Evidence Appearing Real (an acrostic poem to make my primary school teachers proud). We seek evidence to prove that our fears are real, and that we are indeed keeping ourself safe.
We often create terrible outcomes, or link exaggerated results to different activities. The thing is, you don’t have to let this control your life, you can actually get rid of fear and move forward with confidence.
Don’t believe me? Let’s break it down!
Choose a fear, anything that has stopped you from doing what you desperately want to do.
Example: Fear Of The Unknown
Step 1: Ask yourself why again and again and again….
Understanding why you are letting this fear stop you is a really effective way of overcoming it. Most of the time you will realise that the outcome is actually in your control – whether you can control the situation or your response to the situation.
Why am I afraid of the unknown: because I don’t know what’s on the other side
Why am I afraid of what’s on the other side: because I can’t control it
Why am I afraid of being out of control: because I’m a control freak darn it!!!
Why, Why, Why until you are exhausted.
Step 2: What is the worst case scenario – seriously
When you break it down to what the absolute, most horrific worst case scenario is, often it is either very unlikely or not that bad after all. Write down what the worst case scenario is. Then rate how likely it is to happen and finally whether you are willing to accept it. If the answer is yes you can accept it, the go forth and prosper my darling!
Step 3: Do you have your exit strategy
The MOST IMPORTANT step, and the one most people forget. If you know what your fear is, why you have it and the worst case scenario, then what are you going to do if that worse case actually happens? Having a step by step strategy on the actions you will take will make it all seem so achievable. Will you go back to work, have a glass of wine, move home, join a different social circle, buy a cat?
Whatever it is you’ll mostly find there is a clear path to getting out of the situation… now doesn’t that make it easier to deal with!
So it’s time to take control, to release yourself from fear’s grip and adopt the mantra of Step 1, Step 2, Step 3 – Screw It, Let’s Do It!